Whatt?

Somehow I made it to 24lbs.

I'm not sure when.... but it happened. 

So, I'm taking it and continuing on this journey.  I don't care how long it takes me.  I've got this.

A catch Up

Ok, I suck at blogging.

Second, I suck at working out.

However, I'm still losing.  Somehow, I reached 21 lbs down.  Go figure.  I tried on a pair of pants today that have been way too small since they were bought and lets just say they were too big for me to wear now.  When did that happen?!

A good friend told me that it's ok if I lose weight slow, or at my own pace.  I am finding this is really the only way for me to do it.  I'm not dieting.  I'm not crash dieting or picking up any kind of work out with the words insanity or X in it.  Cuz those things would make me want to die.  That's just not realistic for me.  What is realistic for me is eating that piece of cake.  But instead of eating it once every couple of days, I eat it once a month.  I have a splurge.

It's realistic for me to up my protein and decrease my processed foods.  I have really been trying to eat more organic, more clean.  Apparently I love egg whites.  So I try to incorporate those in my diet when I can.  I'm drinking more hot tea, less coffee.  Mainly because coffee makes me want something sweet, like a scone, cookie, or pound cake to go with it.  Tea makes me want eggs.  Lol, it's all in the mind.

I remember attempting this journey a few years back.  I had some really close friends that were also going to blog and lose weight with me and try to get healthier.  I remember them pressuring me and telling me I wasn't losing weight fast enough.  I was ridiculed.  I felt so embarrassed.  Mainly because I trusted people I should not have trusted, especially with something so vulnerable.  We aren't friends any more and I haven't spoken to those girls since it all went down years ago, but it did leave an impression on me.  It's funny how God puts people in your lives to do that.  Right now I have the best group of friends I could ask for.  I'm supported, up lifted, and loved.  It makes me want to be a better person.  Isn't it funny how when you are surrounded by good, you want to be good?

Climbing back on

So, I kind of fell of the ladder.  The truck?  The bandwagon?  Ugh, what is it exactly you fall off of?

Anywho, I gained back like 4 lbs.  Which is pretty darn easy to do I've learned!!  So, take this as a bit of vulnerability mixed in with a bit of honesty and admittance, it is NOT easy to go on this journey.  It's not.  But I keep reminding myself that this isn't a race.  I keep reminding myself that I am not in competition with anyone.  And with that being said, I'm still happy with my progress and the lifestyle changes I have made.

So, this morning I got up and walked over a mile with Bella.  The cold felt good.  And the walk was nice.  It was the start to a day where I will make more healthy decisions and not give up.  No, I'm still going to conquer this.

I hated yo-yos as a kid

I weighed myself today and gained a pound.  I'm not happy about that.

I think a lot of it had to do with the soy sauce that went with my sushi lastnight.  It was a veggie roll so I'm not worried about that, but the sodium might not have helped.

I am an extremely impatient person.  And I can't be that way with this.  I really need to stop weighing myself so much.  But that instant gratification really gets me pumped.  So, I go back and forth.

This is going to be an extremely long process and I think a part of my mind is still comprehending that.  They say that the more weight you have to lose, you will start off pretty fast in dropping it.  But then you can hit a plateau and it will really become frustrating.  I'm trying to avoid that feeling.

So, on to another day.  Tomorrow is my 5am workout with Term and we are doing arms.  It's gonna be a long day as my brother has a performance tomorrow night that I gotta be there for.  I'm really hoping I don't ingest too many liquid calories tomorrow night.  Fingers crossed.

Week 4 - A quarter of the way in

Oh Lord, does it hurt!

This poster about sums up how I feel.  I'm down to 13lbs and I'm even starting to see it myself.  I can see my curves becoming tighter and my pants becoming loser.  It feels good.  But don't be misconceived, that cupcake still looks good too.

I baked an awesome cake this weekend.  Chocolate syrup cake with a homemade buttercream.  I gave the WHOLE thing away. It felt good to bake, it felt even better not to eat it.  I also made about 50 peanut butter and jelly chocolate cups with a nice sea salt topping.  I gave ALL of them away too.  I didn't even eat one.  That was rough.  It makes me wonder if I do ever open up my own bakery, will I really be able to give everything away without eating it, LOL?

I worked it out on the treadmill this weekend.  I did an 8 incline for about 45 minutes.  It.Was.Rough.  I even took a picture of myself afterwards.  I defintely worked up a sweat and a beet red face.  I was going to post on here, but my iphone also crashed this weekend and I lost a ton of stuff (hmm - maybe it was a sign not to post the picture!).  I didn't make my 5am workout this morning.  I also sliced my thumb in making the cake and well, working out and grabbing weights didn't sound too pleasant.  But, not to fret... I rescheduled for 5am tomorrow.  And Term is going to town on legs, so it shouldn't be too difficult.

I went out to eat this past weekend.  Had 1 chip.  Had 1 cheesetick.  Had 1 beer.  It's all about moderation. I had grilled chicken and broccoli for dinner.  So, the healthy decisions are starting to truly become a habit.  I found a recipe on Pinterest for frozen mint chocolate chip icecream.  I am a mint choc NUT.  Apparently, they make vanilla chocolate chunk greek yogurt now by Chobani.  I'm curious to try it.  Drop in a few drops of peppermint extract and freeze for a few hours and bam - you have frozen yogurt.  So, I'm goin to see how this works soon.  But I gotta find the yogurt first.

On to another week :)

Greener Grass

If we take it a day at a time through a weight loss journey, the days add up and eventually turn into weeks which then turn into months which eventually turn into a year.  

I'm only 3 weeks in, but I'm still taking this a day at a time.  And those days have turned into 3 weeks which has turned into 12.2 lbs down.  :) That's exciting.

I was talking to my brother last night and he asked me "Is it starting to get easier for you"?  I didn't hesitate when I said, "Nope".  Because it's not.  It's simply becoming part of my routine.  But waking up at 5am to be murdered in the gym isn't something I think I will ever embrace.  I told him, "You know, I just don't think I will ever be one of those people that are like, 'I'm so pissed off.... let me go run a mile!'  No, I'm gonna be one of those people that says, 'I'm so pissed off, let me go bake some awesome cupcakes'".  We both laughed, because that concept even sounds funny coming out of my mouth.  I'm pissed, so let me go ride 5 miles on my bike.  No, that's just not how my mind works.  It's not who I am.  Maybe in a couple months I will feel different and read this blog and see that I do use exercise to release stress, but as for now, I just don't see it happening.  
Someone at work told me today that it's harder to gain weight then it is to lose it.  Well, I about lost it in return.  He was put on a 6,000 calorie a day diet to try and bulk up for training because he is active in racing I think.  6,000 calories a day.  He said he would get woken up at 3:30am to his trainer giving him celery and massive amounts of peanut butter.  Then he would have 2 family size frozen spaghetti meals for dinner.  Sheesh.  Yea, I could see where eating my brains out would suck.  Ummm.  That doesn't sound right coming out of my mouth either.  

Why is the grass always greener on the other side?  No matter what your problems are, someone has it worse then you.  But why does it feel like the grass is always greener?

Some Hard Stuff

I swear, this is some hard stuff.  Anyone that said losing weight and becoming a healthier person was easy - they lied.  Or else they had mono or something that dramatically helped them lose a ton of weight...jussayin.

Things are going constant.  I missed my Monday appointment with Term, but I made up for it Tuesday.  He made up for it as well.  We did arm exercises.  My arms today are like jello.  But, a friend told me to start poppin amino acid vitamins, said they would help with muscle repair and soreness.  Oh thank heavens for that.  I started taking them twice a day over the weekend and I noticed today that I am not as sore as I thought I would be.  As this point, the soreness is just soreness, it's not excruciating pain.  So, I don't mind the reminder that I busted ass in the gym.  It's the not being able to sit down to pee because my legs hurt too bad that I could do without.  

Between the working out and the 1,360 calorie a day diet, it hasn't been the easiest thing.  I cheated yesterday. The owner of my office ordered pizza from a great local pizza joint for lunch.  There was no way I was going to be able to pull that off.  So, remembering that I had a protein shake for breakfast and was making a healthy dinner, I knew a slice (ok, I had 2!!!) wouldn't kill me.  But I ripped off the crust (and a little more) and then blotted the hell out of that thing.  No extra grease needed, thank you.  

I weighed myself Sunday and I am down 10lbs so far.  So, I'm giving myself the 10lb star.  I'm not sure if the pizza ruined it or not, but I'm not weighing myself to find out.  I have a few days to recover.  

Oh, and speaking of protein shakes.  I've been having a blast coming up with ones that I like.  So far my favorite is a scoop of vanilla powder with a frozen banana, ice, water, and a tsp of chocolate syrup.  Someone told me to use cocoa powder instead of the syrup, so I'm gonna try that next.  I added chia seeds in it for extra fiber and such, yea - that takes some getting used to.  They get kind of jelly like when they get cold.  And since I'm a texture person, it kind of freaked me out a little.  But well, it's all in the head.  

So, that's where I'm at now.  We are now into week 3.  9 more weeks to go with Term and let's hope a lot more weight to lose.